Dating red flags
I am strong and I thought I could win the battles and it wouldnt affect me long term, but even though I escaped..months later when trying to 'recover' and move on, I find that I have been damaged in ways I never thought I would be.
My advise, you will never win, they are heartless, soul-less creatures incapable of love and feelings and guilt and remorse.
You are just an object to validate their existence, and if you dare to pull them up on their behaviour, god help you.
I fought it all the way and it drained me beyond words, one day I just couldn't take anymore, and I walked. Just block them in every way possible and no contact.
Learn to ask the hard questions out of the gate, the first or second time you meet someone, before opinions are solidly formed.
Most of us seem to do much better when we have no real expectations of someone, because we hardly know who they are and are not yet trying to impress them.
At the end of a difficult relationship, people often say, “He (or she) told me who he (or she) was at the very beginning, but I just didn’t listen.” Whenever I read an article that claims you should be concerned if your partner wants to separate you from your friends or family, I feel there should be a lot of clarification.
But don’t use a long list of deal-breakers as an excuse to keep people away.
“No one is going to be perfect.” On the other hand, she adds, “Don’t go into any relationship thinking you’re going to reform them.” You won’t.
In retrospect, individuals are often baffled about their own behavior and expectations in a relationship.
A really good exercise I ask my clients to do is to write down every partner they’ve had a significant relationship with, and then, for each, answer questions such as: What attracted you to this person initially? Was your fantasy about this person—what you imagined or assumed to be true—validated in reality? Did revelations during the course of the relationship change your mind? Do any patterns, similarities from relationship to other relationships, emerge?