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We have not spoken on the phone, but that's normal when you meet online.It doesn't matter, because he says he can imagine my voice; he says he knows exactly what it must sound like.Earlier, he sent 2,000 words on how he got into the game, the trips to California and Ireland, the way the clouds flood the greens at Galway Bay. The long puppyish emails, the condensation of an entire life into a few breathless paragraphs that allow him to retell the stories his wife has already heard.He also included a dispatch from the previous evening's softball game, from the excitement of the opening huddle to the crushing defeat. He lets himself be vulnerable too, sharing memories of the beloved dog he had to put down, the long drive home from the vet when he could not stop crying.They list measurements and ask for yours, as though it's merely a matter of fitting one puzzle piece into another. Instead, I respond to the thoughtful ones, whose tales might help answer my questions.In between his kid's soccer game and a pizza party, B.* sends a picture of himself on a golf course.I think it also shows that they're actually thinking about what women may want to hear and putting a real effort into their profile.Women who are more forward, using phrases like dinner, drinks or lunch in the first message get 73 per cent more replies, while men should play it cooler.
Too soon though and you might not get the chance to show how awesome you are.
To get started, I create a profile with a fake name and a dark picture of myself and chart a plan. Then I'll meet a few of them for a drink, but there will be no drunkenness. I say I'm scared to live the rest of my life with unexplored desire. But my jaw hits the ground anyway when I realize whom I'm looking at. One man takes a picture in front of his 1987 Camaro, parked outside of a diner.
For my own safety, I won't reveal what I'm really doing. In my profile, I say that I'm married, because in addition to avoiding escorts, many of the men on the site don't want the complications of seeing a single woman. The rest of what I say is mostly true, and to weed out the more aggressive guys, my tone comes off as exploratory, not sexual. One man has his arm across the shoulders of a young Jon Bon Jovi.
Good spelling shows that you are thoughtful and considered.
Comment on something specific to the profile to stop the message from feeling too copied and pasted. Send a message that shows me you're interested in me as a person, not just looks. Refrain from being too blatant, but compliment something specific, i.e.